Reflections & Regrets

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Officially, I am homeless now…. having no roof under ur head sucks… everyone needs some space to call it their own…. bunking in with friends, sleeping in a random bus stop or the school lounge can get you through the night but yet it doesn’t provide that sense of belonging, which your own space can bring. And it can lead to situations like today…. Currently i am bunking with a friend and he conveniently went to town with his friends ‘forgetting’ to leave the key behind…. Now, I am standing outside the room- wet and tired after work – pissed.

This reminded me of an old story….. some time back after our usual arguments about absolutely meaningless stuff, she got pissed off and went back to our room. Meanwhile, I decided I really wanted to get away from this and went to meet a friend till I calmed down. Leaving her stranded outside the room for a few hours since I had the only key to the room…..

The problem that I always had is that I couldn’t get pissed off at her….. I would initially get pissed off…. emotions running wild…. human nature and all that ….. but this would last only for at most a few minutes – no matter whos fault it may be – and as time goes on it only hurts to be pissed off at her yet there have been endless occasions where my stubbornness would get the better of me… I would endure this pain willingly merely because I dn’t have to say ‘sorry’ first….

Now, looking back this I know how selfish I had been….. Not only did I suffer but made her suffer too…. why ???? merely to satisfy my ego!!!….. I AM SORRY….. Just hope that you know ‘I never meant to hurt you’…..

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