Monthly Archives: September 2008

Personality Assessment

You are a DIRECTOR / builder

You are a leader – an independent thinker who approaches problems with a rigorous, rational and systematic mind. And with your curiosity, persistence, irreverence and logic, you tend to find innovative solutions to complex problems.

You tend to be bold, assertive and hard working. You are good with details, particularly technical details, and you enjoy talking about your work with others.

You are highly loyal to friends and family. And you like to share the status and other perquisites your excellent work has bestowed on you with those who are close to you.

Although you are good with people and enjoy being part of a stable and secure social network, you easily spend time alone, pursuing your own projects and goals.

You tend to be protective and pragmatic. And your friends and family find you innovative and interesting to be with.

Your Major and Minor Personality Types
  • Your major personality type = Director
  • Your minor personality type = Builder

Explorer – 26%


Negotiator – 10%


Builder – 31%


Director – 34%

Category (a) or Category (b)


Firstly, I HATE numbers….. I can argue and even convince you that 1 + 1  ≠ 2 BUT give me a question where I have to add 1 and 1… now that’s a totally different ball game… numbers are my kryptonite, it makes me feel even just for a (mini)second…. human….

Anywaz, this post is gonna be about an interesting theory I came up with while I was ‘trying’ to do my finance questions;


Guys as a gender fall into two categories, category (a) or category (b). Of course, my theory has the assumption that at any given time there is no guy moving from one category to another (no ‘stuck in the middle’ scenarios).

Category (a)

These are the guys who follow the first commandment, Article 1 of the Code of the Brotherhood (Cap 89) – bros over ladies. Whether there are with their gfs,wives or just women they might/are/could be interested in – they would always make time for their bros irrespective of his needs. Conversations dn’t need to rotate around or involve women – For them, they dn’t need a women to make their life complete (p.s. – Category (a) guys have a perfectly straight sexual preference)

Category (b)

Every single one of us knows a guy who falls into this category. The guy who can go into a public place filled with people (hundreds or even thousands) and is able to instantly spot all (only) the women. The best way to explain this is…… imagine you were a ghost…. you can see and communicate with only other ghost, everyone else (humans, demons etc) exist BUT is of no relevance to you…

These guys in category (b) are like these ghosts… for them only women matter… everything else is of no relevance. Other guys, animals or things (cumulatively called ‘objects’) only become relevant to fulfill the ultimate goal of communicating to women.

Let me illustrate this with a diagram:

  • The axis represents bros (Y axis) and girls (Y axis).
  • The number of girls and bros increase as we move horizontally and vertically in the graph.
  • Equilibrium is a 45 degree line with the ratio of girls to bros remain constant.
  • X and Y points are the points where the number of bros and girls associated by category (a) and category (b) are identical – perk point

The best way to explain this is to take an example:

A total Stranger’s House Party

Behaviorial characteristics of category (b) guys

He would enter the party and first thing he does is observe the guy to girl ratio. Since he can see all the girls in that apartment instantly, his ratio is close to only 6 sigma in error (99.999997% accurate). Then, he uses ‘objects’ such as other guys in other to reach his ultimate goal (which can range from communicating to few/all of the girls to sleeping with a few/all of them). This is why, the curve (in brown) jumps up at the initial stage.

The reason why he does not talk to women first is because category (b) guys are constantly with a guilty conscious, they rarely envisage any good when they initiate a conversation with a women. This prevents them from directly confront women at a early stage.

Finally, this guy would reach ‘perk point’ where he would have communicated with sufficient women that he no longer needs ‘objects’. Therefore, the curve becomes linear (constant rate), it does not go down because once this guy has communicated with someone – ‘object’, he can’t really prevent that ‘object’ from talking to you later that same evening (hence, remaining ‘temporary’ bros for the evening). Therefore, normally, one-third of the initial ‘objects would remain at this constant rate while the number of girls he communicates with increases rapidly.

Behaviorial characteristics of category (a) guys

He would enter the party and would feel more relaxed as he has no ulterior motives…. JUST HAVE FUN…. this ‘laid back’ attitude enables him to be more comfortable and ‘smooth’ among the ladies. This is why this curve is inversely proportionate to category (b) curve at the initial stage. Till, one reaches ‘perk point’, after which there is a gradual reduction is the girls:guys ratio as he meets more bros. Given the assumption that he follows the first commandment of Code – the ratio must logically reduce. However, one must note that his curve does not touch the Y axis at any given point. Therefore, even without trying he does maintain a certain number of girl.

Post – 3 mints


Note to World;

  1. I made it back alive
  2. I can’t feel my legs due to the 30 grams of Counterpain (the numbness is keeping me from cutting off my legs, which I considered numerous times)
  3. Sea water can’t be substituted for drinking water – my throat is living proof for the consequences of that
  4. The sunrise is the second most beautiful thing you can see with your eyes (the first being …..)
  5. I love dogs ….. and I wanna dog right NOW…
  6. If there is a God – thanks for making me get through the last day alive without any permanent scars like a broken body part or death

You Know What’s Wrong With This World ???


You know whats wrong with this world …. People think they can always do better….. you can try but it’s never worth all the sacrifices you have to make to get there…..

Why???? Cos this World cares only about WINNERS…

Yeah, we get to hear about all the forbes millionaires who made it big because they wanted to do better than what was been done… but for every millionaire that makes it there are another million joes who dn’t. We never hear their stories…. the guy who drops out of the college so he can start his own fashion line, the girl who wants to ‘make it in Hollywood’ who starts off in adult pornography till she gets her big break in Hollywood scene or the teenage band, kids who skips school so they can practice in their grandma’s garage.

These are all stories no one gets to hear…. why because this world rarely gives a shit about losers…. people who try their best but dn’t have what it takes to make it are put into the same cauldron as people who dn’t even try. In this World, they are winners on one side and ‘others’ on the other side (see even that side has ‘other’ in front of it)  We have created a world were only winners are looked up upon and losers are JUST LOSERS… no one cares no one gives a shit…..

Its sad yet true

3 Mints


This posting was written 3 mints before I set off for a journey I may not come back from…. Sorry, I can’t let u guys on it till (condition- if) I get b

If I die tonight, I would like to state these things for the record;

1. I have always been a faithful friend, lover, sibling and child

2. I tried my best in all my endeavors … studies, relationships etc….

3. Mom,dad and grandma – Sorry for not been a good child but hopefully I made u guys proud…

4. Sorry for not caring…. I am an a%^ and ‘tried’ my best to change

5. Had faith there is No God since the way I have pissed him/her off the last few years – confirm I am going to hell TONIGHT (assumption – that I die tonight)

6. Finally, I am happy (content) on how my life has gone so far and tonight I will die (hope not) a happy 22 year old 🙂

Cheers World…….

‘Feeling’ It Right ?


It’s a funny thing about guys.

We don’t talk about our “feelings” too much.  Most guys, straight, bi, or gay never really get to express all the stuff that rolls around in their heads.  And by ‘heads’ I mean the one north of the navel.  We’re always allowed to talk about the one down south unless you’re in the workplace, and even then it’s alright as long as you’re with folks who aren’t uptight about that sort of thing.  It’s like we aren’t allowed to express emotion unless it is of an aggressive nature.  We are taught that it isn’t manly to express our thoughts or hurts or vulnerabilities.  We aren’t allowed to cry.  Crying is for girls and sissies.  And you don’t want to be a sissy, do you?

We aren’t allowed to talk about romantic notions or get “in touch” with our softer sides.  Make this mistake and you are suddenly labeled as a pansy, nancy boy, or at best just weak.  Women have it better in this respect, I think.  They can verbalize what’s eating at them and its okay.  Healthy, in fact.  But not us guys.  What male hasn’t ever heard that “big boys don’t cry” or “be a man” or “suck it up you goddamned little faggot and quit your crying, little shit headed worthless piece of shit mama’s boy!”  Okay, maybe that last one was just my father, but you get the idea.  Hell, even my mother would scold me for being too girlish and effeminate.  It was difficult at age seven to articulate to her that I preferred roosters to kittens.  Think about that a while.  You’ll get it.

No, guys just aren’t allowed to have feelings let alone talk about them in “group”.  Unless, of course, you are an alcoholic and then it’s okay because it’s the booze talking and that doesn’t count.  In fact, I tend to believe that there are probably more male alcoholics than female.  Now, I don’t have any statistics on that, it’s just my opinion so please don’t berate me for that.  I think guys are more prone to self medication to at least dull the pain because they can’t exorcize it in order to get rid of it.

So lately I’ve had a few of those “issues” that crop up in life from time to time.  I, of course, think I have more than my fair share but that’s probably an exaggeration.  I’m sure lots of guys go into a dark place in their lives and suddenly find that they just went deeper – but I wouldn’t know that for sure because we can’t talk about it!  But my issues seem to be getting the better of me at the moment.  That’s not a cry for help, by the way, it’s just a statement so please don’t make the offer to go out for coffee and a chat.

Recently, however, I did tell a buddy that I was in an uncomfortable place.  In a round about way, I did sort of hint that I could really appreciate unloading some of that tension to a listening ear.  Not asking for advice nor asking him to solve the problems – just to listen.  Completely prepared to return the favor if ever needed.  It was pretty clear that he was entirely uncomfortable with that.  Figures.  Again, our conditioning tells us that that is taboo.  I apologized, as I frequently tend to do, and dropped it.

It’s a shame, really, that we can’t seem to get to a place where everybody feels free enough to just be human and recognize and express their fears and frustrations.  Either that or he just couldn’t be bothered with another nancy boy crying over spilled milk

A Broken Glass


You will never know true happiness, until you have truly loved, and you will never understand, what pain really is, until you have lost it.

You walk by me everyday and say hello.Everyday you take time out to listen to me.You talk to me, smile at me, laugh with me, and have fun with me.Well, I talk, smile and laugh too, but inside I’m hurting. Deep down it hurts to be with you because I love you.

While being in love there are two requirements:heart breaking and healing. Healing takes time.
I still run, I still swing open the door,I still think, you’ll be there like before. Doesn’t everybody out there know to never come around? Some things a heart won’t listen to, I’m still holding out for you.

She touched my heart with a thousand pleasures and broke it into million pieces.

To live life without you is to live life without love.
One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do is stop loving someone because they’ve stopped loving you.
Life is prison when you’re in love alone.
The greatest distance on earth is not north and south, it is when I am right in front of you and you do not know that I will always love you.