Monthly Archives: October 2008

A Letter

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Dear Friend,

You came into my life, a sparkle of joy. You make the world so bright, new and alive. Always eager to lend a shoulder or an ear, my life is so much better when you’re around. You held my hand, and you offered me a smile; you sat beside me and listened for awhile. When I lost hope, you gave me a shove; when I felt alone, you offered your hand. All of my days are sure to be better, as long as I have a friend like you to share my pain, my joy, my life.

Love,

A Believer

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Amendments to the Code of the Brotherhood (CAP 89, 2008 Rev.Ed.).

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Changes made:

1. Amendments to:

Article 3: Chick Availability

Added Subsection 1(d) “As a half sister she would receive all rights and privileges of being off
limits to a bro”

Intention:

  • The amendment was made to align the provision with Modern Social Trends. The increasing divorce rates and marriages with partners with children from previous marriages have left majority of the families with step-brothers and sisters. Therefore, since subsection 1(c) applies only to bloodline sisters, section 1(d) would help address this lacuna in the law.

Article 77: Tear Rule

Added Section 2(2) ‘In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to
anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.’

Intention

  • We have observed that some bros play the sensitive card due to the myth held by certain chicks that guys who are emotional are better partners. This has resulted in many guys using this card for their advantage. Therefore, to be in accordance with overall obligation of all bros i.e. to help another bro score we have added this exception to the tear rule.

Article 5: Pets

Added Section 2 “(2) If a Bro gets a dog,
a. it must be at least as tall as his knee when full‐grow and,
b. must at all times be dressed with only his/her birthday clothes.”

Intention:

  • The stand about owning a cat still remains. Furthermore, it has been observed that bros have been getting ‘cute dogs’ as strategy to score with chicks. However, this has resulted in the sacred place of dogs been shifted from ‘man’s best friend’ to ‘a bro’s wingman’ demeaning the title of ‘wingman’ (reserved for ‘bros only’). Therefore, to prevent this, all dogs owned by Bros must be taller than their knees (taking ‘cute dogs’ out of the equation). Furthermore, dogs shouldn’t have any clothes on them (this is just GAY)

2. New Provisions added:

Below mentioned are all the new provisions (some important ones are explained)

ARTICLE 22: Sworn Secrecy

ARTICLE 23: Wingman Rule 1

ARTICLE 24: Wingman Rule 2

ARTICLE 25: Boundaries on Girlfriend Conversation

  • Bros are only mortal and like all mortals, we fall into temptation. Commenting on another’s bro gf’s looks maybe the starting point heading to the violation of Article 3.

ARTICLE 28: Tattoo

ARTICLE 29: Cell Phone Positioning

ARTICLE 30: Shirts-Off

ARTICLE 31: Handbags

  • Bros can do anything to be ‘sweet’ to their gfs or chicks they intend to score with. However, certain acts would question a bros’ manhood itself. Carrying a handbag is a clear example. Two kinds of people carry handbags i.e. women and gays PERIOD.

ARTICLE 32: Age

ARTICLE 33: Moving Grounds

ARTICLE 54: Dump a chick

ARTICLE 66: Relationship Breakups

ARTICLE 70: Alcohol/Drug Overdose Violation

ARTICLE 71: Bro party Rule 1

  • This rule is to prevent nonalcoholic bros who come to parties and finishing the soft drinks and chips. Now, at least if they are gonna do so, the other bros would be too piss drunk (due to the extra alcohol) to get angry.

ARTICLE 72: Bro Outgoings

ARTICLE 73: Language Requirements

ARTICLE 74: Hot Chick Streak

ARTICLE 76: Unhotness

  • Unfortunately, when it comes to scoring with a chick, a bro’s head stops thinking due to sudden change of blood circulation. This is why another bro must intervene to prevent  one of his bros waking up next to a ‘mistake’.

ARTICLE 86: Comfort Zone Restrictions

ARTICLE 88: Greeting a Bro

The rationales for the other new articles can be obtained via request – email or post.

3. Changes to Outlay

  • The first page gives the history of the Code:
    • BASIC VERSIONS    Act 1 of 04/09/2008
      AMENDED BY        Act 4 of 22/10/2008
    • This shows firstly when the basic version was enacted on paper. Secondly, when the amendments were done.
  • The Code itself has dates [22/10/08] at the end of particular articles. This shows when that particular Article was enacted or amended. Therefore, anyone can go back to the particular amendment Act (i.e Act 4 in this version) and check the rationale for this new Article or the amendments to the Article in question.

Thats all I would like leave you guys with the same statement as before:

I hope this Code would provide moral authority to your actions and strength the brotherhood.

code-of-the-brotherhood-cap-89-2008-reved_v2

Symptoms of Nerdhood

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You know you’re a ‘first class’ nerd when:

  1. You have a textbook next to your bed, which you read a chapter everyday before going to sleep.
  2. The last time you had an orgasm was while reading the book General theory of Interest Employment and Money
  3. You enjoy Studying – Like really full-heartily enjoy it –
  4. Spending more than 10 hours in the library is a norm not an exception
  5. After a great night out clubbing/pubbing, you come back drunk yet manage to study a few more hours before going to sleep
  6. Make excuses to skip a party, date with ur gf or even free booze to finish a research paper only due in a month’s time.
  7. Your ipod’s top most played songs are finance and macroeconomics lecture recordings.
  8. Dreams are merely another technique to revise your work….
  9. Get piss drunk and have an intellectual discussion on Tax Reform and Market Derivatives

Diagnosis – ‘A nerd’

Welcome to my World

Mere Existence

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Why do we do it…. why get up every time we fall… why keep fighting…maybe we are fighting for something more than our mere survival … Please tell me what it is .. do we even know ???

Is it freedom or truth or perhaps peace or could it be for love…Yet, these are all illusions, vagaries of perception, temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperate to justify an existence without meaning or purpose … all of them are artificial as the world we live in …. Yet…. we still do it ??? Why… why…..

On the brigther side… I discovered that my computer actually loves me… yeah I know…. how can a machine speak of love… for it is a human emotion… But No…. think about it…. love is merely a word … What matters is the connection the word implies…So when someone or something expresses love… it is an attempt or reassurance to let the other person know what they would give to hold on to that connection.

Pure Bloods

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Ah…. 6 generations of pure breeds…. From the time I can remember, my grandparents use to tell me the heroic achievements of my great ancestors. The Hewages have a long history of serving our nation. Hewage Ï was part of the great Kandian army serving the then King in the province of Puvakpitiya. Apparently, he started off as an ordinary soldier working himself through the ranks until he was finally appointed as chief constable for that province. Unfortunately, he died serving his country leaving his legacy in the hands of his two children.

His second son, Hewage II was trained to be a scholar since he was 5 years old. His whole life was spent at the Anuradapura Monastery among the brightest minds in the country. This was only done because the British rampaged from province to province killing all loyal servants to the King including their families (where he lost his whole family including his only brother). Hewage II was never able to realize his full potential as Academics was a forbidden lifestyle during that chapter of British rule and his brilliance was confined within the walls of the monastery. But the literature he wrote is still been used even after hundreds of years.

Hewage III, the second son of the first son of Hewage II, was an evolutionist…. Seeing his father murdered and burnt in public left him with scars that only revenge could heal. He was part of civil rights movement that bought independence to Sri Lanka. A career path, which like generations before him lead to his early death.

Hewage IV, my grandfather, was a pacifist by birth. Man who believed that kindness and compassion can heal this damaged world. A traditional medicine doctor by training – he dedicated his whole life towards helping the weak and helpless. He opened up several free clinics during a time in Sri Lanka when medicine was anything but widely available or affordable. He funded these clinics through the gem mines that he inherited from his great grandfather Hewage I, which were passed down from generation to generation. I can remember that even his final moments in this world was spent on helping a severely ill patient.

Hewage V, my father, a man who believed that ‘country first everything else can wait’. He was my role model growing up, the dedication and courage he showed to straighten up the corrupt bureaucracy in Sri Lankan was profound. This was a time in our country when bribes and crimes were becoming a social norm. For 22 years, he has fought this losing battle with the hope that someday his children can live in country worth calling the ‘pearl of the Indian Ocean’.

Hewage VI, that’s me. I know that to measure up to the Hewages before me would be near to impossible…. but hey with an untainted blood line like this I know I was born to do great things 🙂

What Dreams ain’t made of…..

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Imagine : Your whole life…. you were told there is a God… you heard it so many times that you started to believe it and relied on it and based your actions on this. The only thing that makes go get through the day is that ‘hope’ or ‘faith’ that someone day you would be rewarded for your actions….

For him college was like that…. his father use to tell him that all he had to do was get through school with flying colors and his college education would be ‘taken care of’…. The only reason he worked so hard in school was because he knew some day he would be able to go to college in the US and it would be fun and exciting to know what it feels like to be a student and a teenager (something he has never felt his whole life) – not to worry about your next meal, rent or ‘grown up’ stuff…. for 5 years he hung on to this ‘hope’ and all it took was 2 secs for his father to bring it to an end.

Faster, Cooler and Better™

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Yeah that’s right…. the Burger King Whopper….. a luxury not many people have experienced and not many can….. The perfect whopper has been described as 290grams of pure ambrosia….. Of course, I am not saying this cos I am a ‘senior’ burger king crew or cos I think that Burger King is just Faster, Cooler and Better™ than any of ‘our’ so called fast food competitors…..

Its cos end of the day, THE WHOPPER is not just burger …. it is so much more than just a burger. I mean, that first bite– oh, what heaven that first bite is. the bun, like a sesame- feackled breast of an angel resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below. flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then…. a pickle — the most playful little pickle, and then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce, and a patty of ground beef so exquiste… swirling in your mouth, breaking apart and combining again.. in a fugue of sweets and savories so…. delightful… this is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bred…. this is God speaking to us through food.

So what are you waiting for ?????