Leftovers….. Never Pretty


To come to this…… to argue like this… really?? Is this what things have come to….

20 minutes…. that all its takes…. In less than 20 minutes I can pretty much comprehend anything academics can throw at me…. But when it came to you…. I spend so many years… countless nights… infinite breathes trying to understand. The more I tried to understand the less it made sense and the less it made sense the less I tried.

To call me selfish… really??? Try spending one’s whole teenage life waiting for a hope constantly reinforced by a teenager’s lies…….. Yeah, true I never understood what was going through your head….. that’s why every time you said goodbye… I would wait patiently for the next ‘hi’. That’s why I sticked around…. thats why I didn’t move on…. Even to this day I dn’t regret that but sometimes I do wonder if you would ever know the kind of choices I had to make. Try growing up with constant disappointment and lies and trying to get away from it only to run into something only oh so familiar…..Maybe, I could have taken a little more time off my studies to listen….. been more understanding…. taken a few more chances…. Why didn’t I? Maybe cos I was reminded of ‘John’

John never listened to logic and reason…. like most infants every time he saw a naked flame all he wanted to get close it. It was attracted by its glow, brilliance and radiance. His mom warned him, his dad hit him, his elder brother screamed at him but every time he never listened…. every time he got burnt …. yet the scars never mattered why? cos it was worth that feeling he got when it was close to that flame. John grew up and soon he reached a point where he started wondering is this all worth it? A few seconds of pleasure for GUARANTEED ever lasting scars? Even the stupidest kid would learn…. but John was not like any ordinary kid… he hasn’t been thinking practically and logically…. Then one day he did….

After that he did become selfish… he learned to protect himself…. he learned not to get too close…. Maybe he was wrong but at least he was getting any new wounds……

After sometime…. even John got it…. Why not me?

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