Monthly Archives: February 2009

Forgive me father, for I have sinned

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It all comes back to morality. Irrespective of which religion you are from our actions are governed by a certain set of core moral principles.

Cheating – what would you consider cheating ? If your partner sleeps with someone else ? If your partner is dating another person ? Of course, these are black & white areas. What about more grey areas. If someone else kissses your partner ? If your partner gets drunk and ‘dances’ with a random person at a club ? IF your partner flirts with random guys ? Does it make a difference that its random guys and not A random guy ?

How do you decide which is ‘ok’ and which is not. Of course, one can always talk to the other person in the relationship to explain your boundaries and what you can tolerant or accept. But, the complexity of this problem is furthered by the fact that it also matters how serious one is in the relationship. And no two people are serious at the same level at any given time. So finding a common ground to what we consider cheating would never be an easy task.

Anyways, this post is not really about some theoretical discussion on what is cheating. Rather, it is a confession. I crossed a boundary I never thought I would. The repercussions of which are unravelling itself as we speak and so far its just getting more and more messy. Sometimes, I wish I had some faith and was in a religion that really allows people to confess for their sins and are forgiven. Unfortunately, being  a strong believer in karma would mean that I know what I have done is gonna bite me in my ass someday in the future. Hopefully, when it does I would have the strength to work it out with my partner and it doesn’t go in the same path as this one.

3 Bottles of wine + 2 Songs =

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So, it all started at the pre-party at samuel’s flat. I wasn’t that keen to go since I was very tired and still hangover from Morrison’s 2 the previous night. But, somehow I found myself at his flat drinking wine. We had about 2 hours before the Mega X-Change party started so most of us had a lot of wine to drink. Some might say we had ‘too much’ wine to drink but then again alcohol consumption is always relative to that person.

So, after much convincing Samuel got us to leave to the ‘Living Room’ (a club in Budapest where the X-Change party was held). As soon as I got there I knew it was gg for me. The excessive consumption of wine was taking its effect and faster than I expected. Usually, I wouldn’t care but this time I promised myself that I wouldn’t be ‘too wasted’ on valentine’s eve and do something I would regret. Neither the welcome drink  nor the few glasses of wine we drank after that helped my cause. As expected, I found myself in the dance floor and as usual dancing with her. The countdown was unexpected and so was the actions post-countdown. The songs that was played during the countdown was actually two of our favorite ones. As the wine took full effect and we got caught up in the moment. What I did wasn’t really surprising but what was said was……

Academia, Kisses and ‘The life’

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Academia –

Thank you NUS.

Until today I have never been able to fully appreciate how much you have done for me. Second week of classes and I have discovered how much easy it is for me. Courses seem simple… answers seem simplier… I feel smarter. Or maybe, its not that I am not smarter but rather than the others are just not from NUS. Irrespective of what people say about NUS, its educational system is far superior that I can feel the difference when I am in class competing against masters student from around the world. And yeah….it feels so nice to be in a class with 15 people and constantly engage in intellectual conversations with the lecturers.

My lecturer for my Investment Analysis and Corporate Finance courses like me so much that she expects me to top both the courses. A taunting task for someone who come on exchange to anything but study. Unfortunately, I am unable to give up my bad habits so I find myself in the library at least for a few hours everyday. Some days, I find myself in the library with nothing to do since I had finished all the work that week. So, I try to keep myself entertained by reading up and researching on my honors thesis. I guess you can say ‘once a nerd always a nerd’.

Kisses –

A topic that crosses my mind whenever I get drunk. Now, I know that to fully appreciate or recognize the true feeling of a kiss it is crucial that you are in love with the other person. Passionate drunk kisses are just hollow and meaningless. It may be fun when you drunk but kissing is a whole lot more than that. Most guys/gals don’t realize this cos they have never kissed someone they loved.

“The life” –

Its the simple things that makes me happy. To open the fridge and find chocolate or juice… to take a shower in a bath tub…. to watch cable tv…. Things most take for granted yet things I never had growing up. So I could confidently say ‘I am living the life’ (except for one thing)… in a way that I couldn’t have ever imagined….

First Day of Uni, Sightseeing and Striking a Balance

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First Day of Uni –

So university started this Monday, the first day of classes was terrible. I couldn’t find where the classes were and finally when I did it was canceled or changed to another room/time. At least I am doing all the courses I wanted…. I  still dn’t believe that I am gonna get my finance specialization on exchange (assuming I pass my exams). Best part of it is that my tutor for two of my courses is a Singaporean lady who absolutely loves me cos I am from Singapore and freaking smart compared to the rest of the class.

Sightseeing –

The evening are spent sightseeing before we head out to the bars in the night. I managed to go to Heroes Square and Buda Castle. These are some pics I took, which I love…

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Striking a balance –

What distinguish good men from the bad – Morality. Irrespective of what others would say I would consider myself someone with good sound moral principles. This would obvious hinder me from really having ‘fun’ on exchange. Maybe, that’s why I drink so much alcohol when I am at a bar or disco. At some point, the alcohol would messed up my brain and prevent morality from guiding my actions. It works but the problem is striking the balance of having enough alcohol so I can have ‘fun’ guilty free and remembering it the next day. The right balance is something I have still failed to achieve. I still got a few months… So maybe with time and practice.

First Snow, Morning Afters & Pub Crawlings

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First Snow –

It was approximately 2.45am, surprising I was still sober and able to recall my surrounding. I looked up and there it was…. little snow flakes…. little snow flakes… that’s right… My first instinct was that i was drunk again and this is one my usual hallucinations. Until, I slipped on the wet snow and fell – face first – yeah that wasn’t the ‘pinch me’ I was expecting but at least it made me realize that I was EXPERIENCING SNOW FOR THE FIRST FREAKING TIME…..

Like a crazy man, I ran around trying to catch it, eat it, throw it and even take some home…. OMG…. that moment… words cannot describe what I felt. Moments like this does make life worth living for…

Morning After –

After 2am, almost every freaking night out… I am unable to recall what happens until I wake up the next morning in my flat (hopefully) or some total stranger’s place. Damn it…. sometimes I wonder why my liver is so resistant. Maybe, its cos I took up drinking only when I was 21 or cos my parents (ignoring everything else) have great physical health, which I must have inherited. Sometimes, I do wish that I would have a higher alcohol tolerance.  Then again, after hearing what really happens after 2am, not remembering it may be the best excuse 🙂

Pub Crawling –

When can you call yourself an addict ? Does it matter that you are enjoying yourself ? Does the reason matter ? …..Freedom….problems….a choice…. happiness….I am not sure why I do it… I know that I do enjoy it yet at the same time I know that its too much and I need to cut back. The problem: I can’t.