Monthly Archives: April 2009

When you hit rock bottom


Have you had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? Nothing seems right and you just wanna give up trying and let it take over you. Today, it was one of those days. I was really looking forward to going there this weekend. I had planned and waited for it for more than a week. And then, at 11.13am things started to go horribly wrong.

Now, 9 hours later, I still feel like I have hit rock bottom. With no real ‘friends’ to talk to right now…. it scares me that I would repeat my past mistakes, which would just make this day just worst.

“That” Feeling


All of us have it, when & where is always a mystery. The only thing that we do know is that everything is not right. Something is out-of-place or wrong, it doesn’t feel quite right. Some call this a gut feeling, while others label it as intuition. Whatever, the title maybe, everyone knows what I am talking about. For simplicity, I will call it ‘that feeling’.

So, how does one response to such  whenever you get that feeling. Most of the time, it runs against logic and normal reactions. One can even call this feeling ‘the immediate apprehension of an object by the mind without the intervention of any reasoning process’.

Should we cave into this and blindly follow it. I say blindly following it because this lacks all reason and justification. It is more of faith or hope and by only following this feeling can you get the answers you are looking for. Once in awhile, I too use this feeling to make hard decisions. Decisions where its a choice which one must follow heart or head. Where logic just doesn’t cut it, where you look for something more before going through with it.

So, this decision was made based on ‘that feeling’. I might regret (for sure) but it was one that just had to be made.

How the Hofburg Empire wasted Taxpayer’s Money


So, awhile back I was in Vienna. Its only 2 hours from Budapest and its so cheap to rent a car and just drive there over the weekend. Anyways, after visiting there several times I have discovered what a lavish lifestyle the kings & queens of ages past lived. But then again, living a lavish lifestyle is one thing but just throwing money away is a wholly different matter. Every cent spent was money collected either through trading or ravaging nearby countries. This was the people’s money but the loyal families of the Hofburg empire knew exactly how to waste that ‘hard-earned’ money.

The legendary Hofburg King’s Crown – Cost: a few million euros

dscf02701Well, they decided its better to have another one for special occasions (or if the other one gets lost) – Cost 5 Million euros


Daily wear – T-shirt & Shorts wouldn’t just cut it even if you are just hanging out in the palace – Cost: close to 0.5 million per piece


Why drink water from a cup when you can get one made from gold (Maybe water tastes better when served in gold) – Cost: over 3 million euros


Remember your loyal blood line ? Don’t worry, we have our own necklace with all the previous Kings so you will NEVER forget- Cost: N/A

What does It take ?


Argh!!! Sometimes, its so difficult that it drives me insane. After much thought, its either of these conclusions: 1) Men are from Mars & Women from Venus OR 2) We (men) have freaking idea when it comes to relationships with the opposite gender.

Ok fine, retrospective looking back at the sequence of events, it is ‘obviously’ my fault. If, I have learnt one thing over the last few months is that my ego has a minimal role to play in a relationship. Surprisingly, women pick their fights and whenever they do – life is easier when you agree. If not it ends up in one giant spiral web where no good can come from it (for either of them).

Besides that last few days have been my attempt to ‘make up’ for something I did about a week ago. The ‘what it took‘ list goes as follows:

1. Suntanning ‘champion’; yeah, I promised myself that this was the last thing  to do at Margit Island.

2. Cook dinner: I can’t cook to save myself. But, after several hours of research and trial & error, I did surprise myself with something worthwhile.

3. Flowers; I know this is a prerequisite for a ‘make up’. But, trying to find a fresh flower shop in this city. It took me more than a day to find one (specially one that sells pink lilies)

4. That Thing; she was interested in it from the time I can remember. So, finally went out and got it.

Nationality: Substance Over Form


Nationality is the relationship between a person and their state of origin, culture, association, affiliation and/or loyalty.

So goes the definition. Usually, nationality is determined based on the person’s place of birth. Hence, based on this logic I would be considered Sri Lankan. But, I believe Nationality is not really about what a legal piece of paper states (e.g. birth certificate or passport). I do love the country I was born in, no doubt about that. Yet, my affiliation to it was never strong. I feel that if I could ever be labelled with a nationality – it wouldn’t be Sri Lankan.

The most interesting observation are melting-pot countries. Lets take America for illustration purposes. A first generation Indian or chinese person may have the American accent but to what extent are they really American. Of course, we must first determine what makes a person an American National ? A stereotype or set of characteristics. I would safely assume that there is an objective set of characteristics that makes someone a certain nationality. Comparing this to an Indian/Chinese/Hispanic American would only show a minimum level of similarities. Of course, I would concede that they would be more American than their immigrant parents and less American than their own children.

The reason being that among these first generation Americans are individuals who feel more affiliation to another culture (imposed by their immigrant parents) and they are struck between living up to their peers’ expectations and strong traditional non-american cultural roots.

This is worsen when you encounter individuals who have lived their whole life in several countries besides their country of birth. Constantly, traveling whether on business or otherwise. To label them, American, British or Chinese would be only be useful as a matter of form. In reality, their affiliation to a nationality can be anything.

The important observation is that just because you ran into a American, do not stereotype that person based on his legal nationality. E.g. If you stereotype Americans as people who are stupid idiots lacking any knowledge of the outside world except theirs. “To call a dog a bad name and hang it” would be serve unfairly to that individual who in all honesty doesn’t really feel American in the first place. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt so he/she can rebut that presumption (negative or positive) you have build up.

So, what’s my nationality in substance : 1/2 Singaporean, 1/4 Finnish, 1/4 Sri Lankan.