Monthly Archives: July 2009

Unique Wedding Invite

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This is so my kind of wedding invitation. Their blog is mentioned below:

http://mrod.wordpress.com/2009/07/07/jill-and-matts-amazing-wedding-invite/

Congrats guys – Hope your 6 years of effort and dedication pays off 🙂

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We re all guilty as charged

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If there is one thing that law school has thought me is the subjective nature of human perception. Innumerable times have I encountered witness testimonies all seeing the same incident yet everyone perceives it based on one’s own value system. For a conservative value based person, a stabbing is act against god himself – most hideous. Whereas, for a more liberal person, a stabbing is at most an act of circumstance, driven by rage, emotion or enmity.

(Un)fortunately, human are by definition a value-based species, each of us conceptualizing life via our own parameters. Parameters embedded by a parental or religious institutions craved out by  our social environments.

So, what am I getting at ? What purpose does all this philosophical discussion hold.

Well, its just our bias(subjective) view of life that drives us. Sadly, I too have been guilty as charged. On countless occasions, I have sat on my high seat passing judgment. Deepening this criminality with an aggravating felony – “an open book attitude towards life”.

What’s worst than passing judgment on others ? To do so loudly and blatantly in total disregard for human sentiment. I would be the first to let a stranger, a close friend or even my relatives/parents know, be it my facial expression/body language or telling it to you in your face when their behavior reaches tipping point of intolerability.

Of course, I do not have more tolerable ‘flaws’ but certain areas do agitate me more that others; Specifically, intellect (more like the lack of it), ignorance (bubble frogs living in their enclosed wells) and “social pride and status” freaks (money and people’s perception is a Royal Flush in a poker game).

Well, that just me – no matter how undesirable my actions may be and how 4 years in Law School has thought me to the contrary, I still do it. Why ? Maybe, I want to see better in people – See change for the better – “better” of course, defined and crafted by my value systems.

Offbrown Hierarchy of Toilet Needs

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Ever so often we visit a place of solitude, a place where the soft music and emptiness is a welcoming gift never taken for granted. Most men dream of this, a place where smiles and small talk is not a social expectation much less a norm.

A place where for most, its not about if they ever visit it but when and for how long. Welcome to the Washroom or popularly known as toilet or Loo.

Toilet is such an under-appreciated place and not many really know the true value it holds in our lives. On further understanding we can truly comprehend the different levels of satisfaction it brings us.

For you: What is a ideal Loo Experience ?

Ofc, we would all jump to a consensus on certain things:

1. A clean toilet seat

2. Toilet paper

3. Flushable Toilet

Then, there are the more borderline necessities:

4. Soap

5. Running Water

6. Location to hang or keep your items e.g. Shelf or Door Clip

But, what makes a Loo experience great, an experience that draws a smirk whenever those memories ran through your head. Honestly, I think there are certain fringes that do just that:

7. Soft music: Not too loud to distract your sense of thought but loud enough to overpower that shameful/awkward bodily gas emissions.

8. A mild air fresher providing a fresh arousing sense of comfort and ease.

9. Hand paper complimentary with a hand dryer

But what factor makes you visit that washroom again: makes you realize the full value it serves in your life:

10. A small yet expressive plant or painting. A object that makes you ponder about life and all it brings with it. A thought provoking and philosophical symbol – of course it does not necessary be a plant or painting but anything that serves the purpose mentioned just above. The end result is that every single time you visit that particular Loo, you discover a little about yourself.

Basically, this Hierarchy of Toilet Needs are summarized below by the aid of a diagram:

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A Shining Star

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If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand

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With no doubt, I was in the worst emotionally state when I met you. You were anything but for me. Yet, every single moment I spent with you made a subtle change of emotions. Over the last few months your strength and simple attitude to life has just helped me get over certain wounds/memories that I honestly thought would never heal. Now, its my turn to return the favor…

RVR 203

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Well its been 18 months…. A very long period for most of us. Over 14 people have at any given period of time spend at least two weeks in this room. We have gone through so much together. A few include:

Random knocks on the door by the security resulting in people hiding under the bed, inside the closet or just standing really still in the dark to prevent from getting caught.

Developing a secret knock, secret key location and other secret codes to allow access to over 4 people to the room at any given time of the day.

Optimal space and route allocations – from fixed sleeping cycles to optimal sleeping layouts allowing a maximum of 5 people to sleep in 203.

Great room parties – great movie screening and even greater conversations (drunk).

Going from 5 functional laptops to one functional laptop over the span of 12 months courtesy of unknown individuals who decide to drop water, step on or throw them.

Tonight, might be our official last night together in 203. It has been nothing short of great (greatly uncomfortable) and the new place in Bukit Timah is just not gonna be the same. Oh, well life has to go on and only thing that remains constant is the memories from 203.

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Offbrown Appreciation Posting

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Note: This list was complied courtesy some research off the internet and the writer takes no credit for any material mentioned below;

  • Offbrown’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Offbrown.
  • Offbrown counted to infinity – three times.
  • Offbrown does not sleep. He waits.
  • Offbrown can speak braille.
  • Once, while having sex in a truck, part of Offbrown’s sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
  • On a high school math test, Offbrown put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Offbrown solves all his problems with Violence.
  • If you spell Offbrown wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Offbrown?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
  • Offbrown puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
  • Offbrown can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Offbrown
  • Once a cobra bit Offbrown’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  • Offbrown was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  • Offbrown does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Offbrown goes killing.
  • Superman owns a pair of Offbrown pajamas.
  • Offbrown sleeps with a night light. Not because Offbrown is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Offbrown.
  • Offbrown can kill two stones with one bird.
  • Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Offbrown’s PC will crash.
  • Death once had a near-Offbrown experience.
  • Offbrown can build a snowman out of rain.
  • Offbrown once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
  • When Offbrown looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Offbrown and Offbrown.
  • When God said, “Let there be light”, Offbrown said, “say please.”

And Finally.. last but not least,

  • The only time Offbrown was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Difference b/w Them & Us

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We have got into this argument at some stage in our lives. Are women or men more complicated ? Are women from venus and Men from Mars ?

Personally, I think that men are simple creature who have wholly different approach to life and everything it brings as compared to women. Below are some examples from real life:

Shopping

The main difference is that with women its always a matter of degree and there no such thing as an absolute choice. Women understand and fully appreciate clothes and color. For them, there is a trivial yet distinct difference between white and off-white or boot-cut and straight fit.

For men, everything is in absolute terms, green, pink, yellow, jeans, shirt, T-shirt etc. All men really care is if a white shirt goes with a purple tie and not if a white shirt goes with a purplish tie containing spots or strips.

This makes women much more complicated in this area and a living nightmare to their boyfriend or husband when they want to get something special on a special occasion.

Expression

Women express everything is paragraphs. Men do in sentences. Fact: On average, it has been estimated that men speak 12,500 words in a given day and women speak about 25,500 words in a day

Women like to focus their attention not only on the facts but their subjective perception of the facts as they were unveiled. Hence, Women tend to communicate more effectively than men, focusing on how to create a solution that works for a group (family or work), talking through issues, and utilizes non-verbal cues such as tone, emotion, and empathy.

Whereas men tend to be more task-oriented, less talkative, and more isolated. Furthermore, Men have a more difficult time understanding emotions that are not explicitly verbalized, while women tend to intuit emotions and emotional cues. These differences explain why men-men relationships are alot less complicated than women-women relationship.

A misunderstanding between a men-men relationship can only arise in two circumstances; violation of article 2 or article 84. Whereas, with women everyday is constant battle because to enter the realm of subjective perceptions is to enter murky waters where no one is certain what lies ahead.

Global Or Compartmental

Based on an article http://www.tellinitlikeitis.net/2008/01/why-are-women-so-strange-and-men-so-weird.html, Women are global and Men Compartmental

Women can try asking their partner to pick something at the grocery or run an errand after his work. Only for him to return home empty-handed or unfinished. That’s because he was in the “work”compartment, focusing exclusively on getting the job done that moment, where nothing else exists but his work.

Have you ever tried to talk to your husband or partner about something you felt was important while he is focusing his attention on the football game? Doesn’t work out too well, does it? This is because Men work in blocks. For example: When Men leave to work they close their ‘home’ block and open their ‘work’ block and focus 100% leaving behind all else.

Men have you ever gotten into a disagreement with your wife or girlfriend about something, and she brings up stuff that happened months ago?You likely stood there looking at her with the “deer in the headlights” sort of look wondering, What in the world does THAT have anything to do with THIS?

That’s because she’s thinking globally, connecting and intertwining details and data as they relate to one another. With Women everything is connected and everything has some meaning. Women are able to see the big picture every single time whereas Men only see facts in abstract with no real connection between them.

Never Yes/No

Women rarely use the ‘Yes or No’ when asked a question to mean exactly what those words are intended to express . On countless times Men ask Women (usually after an argument) “Are you(we) ok?” to which says “I(we) am fine” or “Yes”.

This is because women have been taught since childhood to use “hint language” when asking for something she wants or needs. A woman may say, “Honey, wouldn’t be nice to go see a movie tonight”?, when she really means “I want to go see a movie tonight”. Unfortunately, men often do not get the hint. This is due to the fact that “hint language” is not a part of a man’s language style, since men tend to take language very literally, focusing on the content of the message instead of hidden meanings. And by saying ‘No’ to her proposition she would just get the impression that her partner does not care about what she wants or needs.

Man measure by his ego

Generally, men are insecure about their social standing. Their ego and social recognition is an vital aspect for their well-being. Hence, in certain decisions or circumstances, men are more controlling or demanding than others. For example: being the bread winner, family financial planner, deciding on the family car etc. In these areas, Men want to be the sole individual making the decisions because this is the only way his ego and self-esteem can be satisfied.

Women are more social creature who like team or group decision making. Hence, women like to participate in the decision making and contribute her comments and ideas on these decisions. The role of ego and social recognition is less prevalent in women as compared to men.

Hence, why Women can never understand why Men love cars and sports. For Men, these two areas are iconic for power and social fame.