Note: This list was complied courtesy some research off the internet and the writer takes no credit for any material mentioned below;
- Offbrown’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Offbrown.
- Offbrown counted to infinity – three times.
- Offbrown does not sleep. He waits.
- Offbrown can speak braille.
- Once, while having sex in a truck, part of Offbrown’s sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
- On a high school math test, Offbrown put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Offbrown solves all his problems with Violence.
- If you spell Offbrown wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Offbrown?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
- Offbrown puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
- Offbrown can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Offbrown
- Once a cobra bit Offbrown’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
- Offbrown was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
- Offbrown does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Offbrown goes killing.
- Superman owns a pair of Offbrown pajamas.
- Offbrown sleeps with a night light. Not because Offbrown is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Offbrown.
- Offbrown can kill two stones with one bird.
- Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Offbrown’s PC will crash.
- Death once had a near-Offbrown experience.
- Offbrown can build a snowman out of rain.
- Offbrown once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
- When Offbrown looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Offbrown and Offbrown.
- When God said, “Let there be light”, Offbrown said, “say please.”
And Finally.. last but not least,
- The only time Offbrown was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.