Monthly Archives: January 2010

The Deck of Life

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The king of Diamonds, the Jack of Clubs, nine of Hearts, three of spades; these may be random cards from a deck but to some its not so simple.

Our whole lives we dream to be someone; some will settle to be doctors, lawyers or accountants while others reach to become singers, painters or writers. For what; for the happiness itself brings or as a means to an end? The answer doesn’t really matter as both ignores the bigger picture.

Personally, I need to know that every time I pick a card from the deck; that it is not random; the queen of heart, jack of spades, king of clubs are not just random cards pulled one after the other with no higher purpose. Each card though maybe pulled “randomly” are “chosen” looking at the bigger picture; an ultimate objective, which a few human lifetimes cannot achieve.

Hence, I may become a lawyer this life but that is not just to pay up my student loans, buy a mansion, sports car and attract a trophy wife but rather its my attempt to get a bit closer to that objective, which taking a micro-view of life most humans cannot see.

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AN Ellusive Choice

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Some choose while others the choices are made

To be labeled at such a young age, named and foretold that this man; this man alone would achieve greatness. To carry that burden together with the responsibilities that no 11 year old should shoulder seemed an infuriating task for some. But for him, saying “no” was never an option, that was the answer chosen by his predecessors and mulling over their lives only made “yes” more attractive for him.

We can never side step junctures of our life; junctures where choices must be made. To miss or ignore them is merely an futile attempt to act immature when really we are just afraid. Sadly, he was never given that option; to chose! choice can be a blunt instrument when what lies on either road is clear. Uncertainty and anticipation of ones choices are what makes them worthwhile; to ponder and deduce and later criticize on hindsight of what could have been. For these provide the foundations of character building and inner strength.

Yet, he was deprived left with choices that is merely a test of ones logic and rational rather than preference or ambition. This hardens you; encourages a cold approach to decision making; vacant of emotions and compassion. Since, failure is not an option; for growing up he was surround by it;repulsed by it’s stigma. Knowing that your safety net consisted of that very thing you ran away from. To lie there and feel a level of comfort and dependability was unimaginable.

So, he ran as fast and as far away as he can; towards a destination that really didn’t matter. For that was not his intent; he didn’t care for choices were made always looking back and never forward. Its been 14 years since then and that void filled with anger and prejudice has slowly and quietly been replaced by faith and optimism. Now, he smiles to himself thinking of “those” rough times and how things will be different when its his turn. Yet, he knows he was lucky but honestly luck should never be left to decide on matters such as these.

We are never born equal but the choices we make can help us or others achieve that equality which end of the day every human deserves; to fight in a playing field devoid of unfairness or prejudice. He may have never gotten that chance but his choices has allowed him to prevent those mistakes been repeated towards others.

The nuggets of life

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About 2 years ago, I had lost faith in a profession I once idealized. Then, I met him; a man who had practiced for over 30 years in a pursuit of goodness unlike his fellow counterparts that chased an envious title “Senior Counsel”. Those short 2 weeks gave me a new perspective on life and these quotes or “nuggets of life” would stick around for much longer.

Don’t be too nervous of being nervous

Golaith v the David

Someone got to be the fool.. I dn’t mind being that fool…. The world needs idealist fools….

Animals and plants need spokespeople….

Buy me lunch and i can discuss with you

Crime does not pay for lawyers

Conscious to help people…

What an important role you play in society…

Let the judge judge … your role is to defend….

I am not a practiable person

Wisdom sets in…

Finally my favorite;

I wish all the best not much in law but in life….

Things You Need to Know

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Things You Need to Know This list is a glimpse of what the world looks like from the eyes of those who either know or are close to knowing true love.

1. You will probably not know your soulmate right away. When you do meet you soul mate, you will not know him or her by the fanfare and the rush of hormones. You will only know him or her by a very gentle tug on your heart. Instead of looking for the fanfare, look for that gentle tug and build a friendship without expectations of something more. In time, as the relationship blossoms, when both of you reveal your true selves, you will know.

2. Relationships rarely look like romantic movies or books. Imaginary people fall in love quickly and live happily ever after. Real people fall into real love slowly and live fully ever after.

3. It takes years to really get to know someone. The gift of being human is our complexity. Is it possible to know someone in a week, a month, a few dates? Can you reveal all of your complexity in that short amount of time? How long does it take someone to truly know you?

4. Great relationships are completely worth the effort. There is nothing like being in a great relationship. There is nothing like being seen and known by the one you love, and seeing and loving back. Whatever you need to do to get there, do it.

5. In spite of lots of bad relationships, a great relationship is possible. It doesn’t matter if you have been “unlucky in love.” All that matters is that you take the steps necessary to build a great relationship. It is essential these be different steps than the ones you have taken in the past.

6. A relationship is like a living being – it needs love, caring, space, etc. People tend to either ignore or smother relationships. In the first case they ignore their partner, thinking that a relationship, once established, will always be there. In the second case they spend every moment with their partner, give and expect undivided attention. If you had a pet, how would it survive under such conditions?

7. You don’t have to do your relationships the way your parents did theirs. Regardless of the models and world view of the previous generations, your life still belongs to you. Choose how you do your relationships, instead of blindly doing or thinking something just because it comes naturally.

8. You can only have a great relationship when you don’t need one. When your life is so wonderful that having a relationship loses its focus is when you will attract the right mate. This is not the same as forcing yourself not to think about relationships or shutting down out of disappointment.

9. There is no such thing as boredom in a relationship. There may be anger, resentment, shut down, but never boredom. How can you get bored with your partner when your needs are being met, when you have great communication, when you feel loved and love back? Could you ever be bored with that? What people think of as boredom is actually the accumulated weight of unspoken resentments and anger squeezing the life out a relationship.

10. Liking sex with someone does not mean you will like a relationship with them. However, liking a romantic relationship with someone almost certainly means you will like sex with them. So, which should you do first when you meet someone — get to know them or audition them for a sex partner?

Meet the Hollywood Lawyer

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We have been talked about since the beginning of mankind. Some say we were created in the image of the serpent that tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit; where theologists conceive the serpent as controlled by Satan or even Satan himself (Revelation 12:9 and 20:2). Hence, we have ever since been stamped as “Devil’s Advocate”. Hollywood does not do justice to rebut this myth; on faith and belief alone they side with the masses pursuing those elusive ratings that roll in the 6 digit pay cheques.

Today, I speak of my Western counterparts; a system based on contingency fee agreements (US and Canada)/ No Win No Fee (Commonwealth) and a jury system.

I wanted to make this posting informative yet not pall on about the technical aspects of the legal profession. For me, this is a profession of calling; we opt for it without comprehension of the responsibility it carries. And, we downgrade it as merely a service provided for a fee; impersonal and without real self-sacrifice. Rationalizing to ourselves that its not medicine; we are not dealing with people’s life; for dispute resolution is all but money and money means nothing for it is replaceable. Into this empty cauldron, we add the dangerous concept of contingency fee arrangement and a jury system in a futile attempt to give a purpose to an already misconceived cause.

To discharge one’s duty to the best of one’s ability; there requires two indispensable qualities; moral principles or/and no conflict of interest. So, either you have strong moral principles that lust for money and fame does not sway you or (if you are ordinary like me) try not to encounter conflict of interest scenarios. What contingency fee agreements do is strike at the heart of the ordinary man’s weakness. We are given more money when we win; win we must; no matter what the costs to the client or the opposing party or the legal precedence we set. Again, it must be pointed out for ordinary layman that winning for a client may not be necessary good; not all costs for legal action would be awarded in damages and qualitative attention from press coverage and media frenzy would leave a scaring effect. Yet, who cares ? I win I get money and even prolonging legal action at the expense of both parties may up my service fee. It becomes all about you. Temptation for the feeble minded is like offering stale food to a starving child.

Jury system itself has been abolished in many jurisdictions and reasons given are self-evident yet America still clings to its third amendment and hope/trusts that ordinary untrained layman with pre-existing polarized opinions to decide on civil liberties of other people! In their hands, a lawyers’ pay cheque is placed and price tag for freedom is merely convincing unconnected and distant jurors how a person’s fate should be decided. Hence, telling them what they want to hear becomes more important than what is legally true. Legal precedence and public policy are consumed by factual context leaving more uncertainty for humans to govern their actions and end of the day just more business for lawyers.

With no higher purpose demanded by a broken system; contingency fee arrangements combined with the jury system has created a creature worthy of the label engraved: “Devil’s Advocate”.

Cos We All Aint Black & White

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In most countries, it’s still taboo. While others, everyone is getting used to it. Visionaries laud it as the making of a multi-ethnic, golden race that will bring peace to the planet. Some of my closest friends have done it and everybody gossips about it; mixed race marriages.

By all estimates, it will only increase. Slowly and awkwardly society is facing it and finding it’s a lot healthier to talk about it and positively adjust to it when it happens, rather than hide it, fight it or worse ignore it.

It raises an issue of mixed emotions, mixed philosophies and mixed cultures. Should a Hindu date a Muslim? Should Christians and Hindus marry? What religion would a child be if the parents were Hindu and Jewish respectively? We all like to think of ourselves as liberal people and dismiss the issue of interreligious marriage by saying, “If they love each other, that’s all that matters. As long as they are happy, we are happy.” However, deep down inside, do we really feel that way? How does one truly feel about inter-religious relationships and marriages? Does “love make the world go ’round,” or does religion, tradition and society?

How compatible am I to someone who believes that God has asked to not eat meat, be a virgin or adhere to a specific dress code. Or who enjoy sacrificing goats and decorating trees. I may love her but will that love grow as our faults are revealed; our polarized opinions surface and relatives/family mingle. Marriage, a life long relationship in itself is barely workable. Add culture and religion as complexities and it only gets harder. Some of us like to try new things and that experience is pleasantly welcomed. But, marriage is not an “experience” its a life choice and there is no real way out to try something else new. Liking Indian food or Chinese Weddings is not a reason to date a Indian or Chinese; as outsiders we can never fully appreciate the inner workings of these religions or traditions and thinking we can adjust no matter what.