I miss the good old days, you know – boy meets girl – boy chases girl – girl says yes – they date. No complications, no ceterus paribus or no ‘what ifs’.
Nowadays, romance is just too complicated as we add job, friends and family into the mix. Some of us wait, patiently, for the correct time when everything else around us is good or stable and we are mentally prepared for a relationship. Others just jump in and wing it as they go along and when their relationship or career or family or friends become too demanding they just bail on their relationship because nowadays a relationship is the most expendable responsibility in our lives.
We date only when it’s convenient, when the timing is right, when we are ready and when we have an exit plan in place. Its unfortunate, I am guilty of it myself, that we adopt such an apathetic approach to something that our younger selfs would write songs or poems about, day dream about or destroy endless flowers with “she loves me; she loves me not”
Maybe, as we go older we all slowly become cynics of true love. Or maybe we begin to love our jobs, our friends or our families more and there is only so much love to go around and after dividing it among those three, we just don’t have enough for a relationship.
I like to draw an analogy from something I use to do in my younger days.
Growing up in “developing” country, we use to have power cuts once or even twice a week, totally random and unexpected. I use to go out, sit on the front doorstep with a few litted candles with absolutely nothing to do for hours and hours until the power was restored. The 10-year me use to play a game, I use to move my finger across the candle flame as slow as possible without getting burnt. It was exciting because moving it as fast as possible was easy, anyone can do it, but doing it slow enough was hard and challenging and always exposed me to the risk of getting burnt.
Was the game stupid? Yes. Was the game useless? Maybe. Could I have done something else to keep myself entertained? Yes. Why waste my time on it then? Because I was 10.”
I see relationships like that “game”. We can play it the easy way, moving our finger as fast as possible and never get burnt. It’s easy, unexciting and less challenging to move from one relationship to another without much effort. But is it playing the game the way it should be played or just playing the game for the sake of playing it ?.
I do wish I could be that 10 year old self, not the stupid grown-up asking those grown-up questions: (Those questions translated to “relationship” lingo would go something like this)
Was the game stupid? Why would anyone open their heart, spend endless hours and resources on something that has no guarantee of success?
Was the game useless? Why waste your time on something that can only at some point leave you burnt
Could I have done something else to keep myself entertained? Could you not have spent that time working on your career, spending time with friends or family?.
The answer to the last question, Why waste my time on it then?. Why bother, why the f&*k do people try again and again and again? My answer to it is simple:
Love is like finding the last piece of a puzzle and a relationship is the journey to find the last piece that makes the puzzle complete.