Sometimes it’s easier to say you don’t care instead of trying to explain every reason you do.
I think end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull.
So, we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we’ve chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.
Its baffles me how I ended up caring about you so much. Its only been a few months. Yeah, sure we knew each other for close to 2 years but let’s be honest, the clock only started ticking around end of february. I care about you for reasons I have difficulty understanding myself. I am not the kind of person who really cares too much about the people around me, and at times I can be the most self centred person anyone can ever encounter. But with you, its off, a switch that I knew existed but never really knew how to operate.
I can indubitably stand close to you, look into your eyes, and resist the temptation to kiss your lips or touch your hand or caress your hair. And its not because I don’t want to or because I can’t but because I care. I know what its like, I’ve tasted it, its addictive as candy is to a little child and too much of it is never enough.
Yet, I hold back to show you that I care, I care not just about all of that girlfriend-boyfriend stuff, but more importantly about the best friend stuff; if its only to sit with you to talk or just sit and see you smile.
I know that waiting is the most important thing that I can do for the one you care about. But it has proved one thing to me. As it goes, it can also change our minds. With you, its different or maybe I am just confused.