The article is courtesy of Gary Van Warmerdam available at http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/relationship_matrix.htm
Article Summary for the lazy few who don’t wanna go through the whole article:
Relationships consists of six images. Three on each side.
1. Hidden Image
2. Projected Perfect Image
3. Fraux (Created) Image of the other party in the relationship.
The Hidden Image is our side which we do not want others to see. Its like all the bad things about ourselves do not reveal to the world. Projected Perfect Image is what any person ‘should be’ or ‘achieve’. This image is created by our observations of others. It is usually influenced based on social norms and our environment. Fraux (created) Image is our perception of the other person in the relationship, partner, friend or colleague. We create an image of the other person the way we want to see that person, which may be (usually is) different from who he/she really is.
The complication arises when two people interact with each other. One party projecting their ‘projected perfect image’ while the other party perceiving it as the fraux image. This mismatch resulting in an internal direct conflict. Furthermore, the internal conflict between ‘projected perfect image’ and ‘hidden image’ resulting is furthering of this external conflict.
The solution this article provides is that our understanding that — these images are all made up! They are fictional. We are reacting to the movie in our imagination. The only power behind these images and their stories is the belief we give them. It is only because we believe these stories and images that we react emotionally. When we don’t believe in these False Images, we eliminate the emotional reactions. End of the day it boils down to communication. Only through clear communication can one see through all these frictional images and build a long lasting relationship.
End with a quote from one the speeches available at the website:
We are not any imagine of success or we are not the imagine of failure we have in our mind…. those imagines in our mind that just that… they are conceptual ideas of what we are… and we are not conceptual ideas.. we have the power the create them and we have the power to believe in them… but we are not the ideas of ourselves that we create
The full article was removed from my blog in respect to the author’s copyrights. However, I would encourage everyone to click on the link above and have a look at the full article and listen to the audio clips.