Tag Archives: Greatness at work

Amendments to the Code of the Brotherhood (CAP 89, 2008 Rev.Ed.).

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Changes made:

1. Amendments to:

Article 3: Chick Availability

Added Subsection 1(d) “As a half sister she would receive all rights and privileges of being off
limits to a bro”

Intention:

  • The amendment was made to align the provision with Modern Social Trends. The increasing divorce rates and marriages with partners with children from previous marriages have left majority of the families with step-brothers and sisters. Therefore, since subsection 1(c) applies only to bloodline sisters, section 1(d) would help address this lacuna in the law.

Article 77: Tear Rule

Added Section 2(2) ‘In the event that he does, he must under no circumstance admit it to
anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.’

Intention

  • We have observed that some bros play the sensitive card due to the myth held by certain chicks that guys who are emotional are better partners. This has resulted in many guys using this card for their advantage. Therefore, to be in accordance with overall obligation of all bros i.e. to help another bro score we have added this exception to the tear rule.

Article 5: Pets

Added Section 2 “(2) If a Bro gets a dog,
a. it must be at least as tall as his knee when full‐grow and,
b. must at all times be dressed with only his/her birthday clothes.”

Intention:

  • The stand about owning a cat still remains. Furthermore, it has been observed that bros have been getting ‘cute dogs’ as strategy to score with chicks. However, this has resulted in the sacred place of dogs been shifted from ‘man’s best friend’ to ‘a bro’s wingman’ demeaning the title of ‘wingman’ (reserved for ‘bros only’). Therefore, to prevent this, all dogs owned by Bros must be taller than their knees (taking ‘cute dogs’ out of the equation). Furthermore, dogs shouldn’t have any clothes on them (this is just GAY)

2. New Provisions added:

Below mentioned are all the new provisions (some important ones are explained)

ARTICLE 22: Sworn Secrecy

ARTICLE 23: Wingman Rule 1

ARTICLE 24: Wingman Rule 2

ARTICLE 25: Boundaries on Girlfriend Conversation

  • Bros are only mortal and like all mortals, we fall into temptation. Commenting on another’s bro gf’s looks maybe the starting point heading to the violation of Article 3.

ARTICLE 28: Tattoo

ARTICLE 29: Cell Phone Positioning

ARTICLE 30: Shirts-Off

ARTICLE 31: Handbags

  • Bros can do anything to be ‘sweet’ to their gfs or chicks they intend to score with. However, certain acts would question a bros’ manhood itself. Carrying a handbag is a clear example. Two kinds of people carry handbags i.e. women and gays PERIOD.

ARTICLE 32: Age

ARTICLE 33: Moving Grounds

ARTICLE 54: Dump a chick

ARTICLE 66: Relationship Breakups

ARTICLE 70: Alcohol/Drug Overdose Violation

ARTICLE 71: Bro party Rule 1

  • This rule is to prevent nonalcoholic bros who come to parties and finishing the soft drinks and chips. Now, at least if they are gonna do so, the other bros would be too piss drunk (due to the extra alcohol) to get angry.

ARTICLE 72: Bro Outgoings

ARTICLE 73: Language Requirements

ARTICLE 74: Hot Chick Streak

ARTICLE 76: Unhotness

  • Unfortunately, when it comes to scoring with a chick, a bro’s head stops thinking due to sudden change of blood circulation. This is why another bro must intervene to prevent  one of his bros waking up next to a ‘mistake’.

ARTICLE 86: Comfort Zone Restrictions

ARTICLE 88: Greeting a Bro

The rationales for the other new articles can be obtained via request – email or post.

3. Changes to Outlay

  • The first page gives the history of the Code:
    • BASIC VERSIONS    Act 1 of 04/09/2008
      AMENDED BY        Act 4 of 22/10/2008
    • This shows firstly when the basic version was enacted on paper. Secondly, when the amendments were done.
  • The Code itself has dates [22/10/08] at the end of particular articles. This shows when that particular Article was enacted or amended. Therefore, anyone can go back to the particular amendment Act (i.e Act 4 in this version) and check the rationale for this new Article or the amendments to the Article in question.

Thats all I would like leave you guys with the same statement as before:

I hope this Code would provide moral authority to your actions and strength the brotherhood.

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Faster, Cooler and Better™

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Yeah that’s right…. the Burger King Whopper….. a luxury not many people have experienced and not many can….. The perfect whopper has been described as 290grams of pure ambrosia….. Of course, I am not saying this cos I am a ‘senior’ burger king crew or cos I think that Burger King is just Faster, Cooler and Better™ than any of ‘our’ so called fast food competitors…..

Its cos end of the day, THE WHOPPER is not just burger …. it is so much more than just a burger. I mean, that first bite– oh, what heaven that first bite is. the bun, like a sesame- feackled breast of an angel resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below. flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then…. a pickle — the most playful little pickle, and then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce, and a patty of ground beef so exquiste… swirling in your mouth, breaking apart and combining again.. in a fugue of sweets and savories so…. delightful… this is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bred…. this is God speaking to us through food.

So what are you waiting for ?????

Feeling Lost

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We like to have everything planned out to the last detail…. Everything must be perfect, nothing can go wrong… Not now not to me… but when has that EVER prevented things from getting messed up….

Life to is too fragile, vulnerable to change….Change can be either good or bad…. but since when do we complain about change when its good… as friendships get stronger… as our love grows…. as our wealth accumulates.

Are we at the receiving side weeping about it all ? On the other hand, a close friend, relative or sibling dies, fail an exam, get sick or age…How come we are first in line to complain and curse everything we embraced when change was moving favorably.

Maybe, it is cos we get so happy and worked up about ‘happy changes’ that when ‘sad changes’ transpire, we react with negative emotions. How about if we were just unemotional to change AT ALL irrespective of its impact on our lives.

Wouldn’t life be so much simpler, less painful or less stressful. What I am trying to get at is what if we were unemotional to ‘change’ as a concept. We think nothing of it, just like being ‘white’ or ‘black’, I wouldn’t care if someone is ‘white’ or ‘black’, it is irrelevant and I just accept it as a ‘matter of fact’ and move on….

Argh… if life was this simple….

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.

Category (a) or Category (b)

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Firstly, I HATE numbers….. I can argue and even convince you that 1 + 1  ≠ 2 BUT give me a question where I have to add 1 and 1… now that’s a totally different ball game… numbers are my kryptonite, it makes me feel even just for a (mini)second…. human….

Anywaz, this post is gonna be about an interesting theory I came up with while I was ‘trying’ to do my finance questions;

THEORY CATEGORY (A)+(B)

Guys as a gender fall into two categories, category (a) or category (b). Of course, my theory has the assumption that at any given time there is no guy moving from one category to another (no ‘stuck in the middle’ scenarios).

Category (a)

These are the guys who follow the first commandment, Article 1 of the Code of the Brotherhood (Cap 89) – bros over ladies. Whether there are with their gfs,wives or just women they might/are/could be interested in – they would always make time for their bros irrespective of his needs. Conversations dn’t need to rotate around or involve women – For them, they dn’t need a women to make their life complete (p.s. – Category (a) guys have a perfectly straight sexual preference)

Category (b)

Every single one of us knows a guy who falls into this category. The guy who can go into a public place filled with people (hundreds or even thousands) and is able to instantly spot all (only) the women. The best way to explain this is…… imagine you were a ghost…. you can see and communicate with only other ghost, everyone else (humans, demons etc) exist BUT is of no relevance to you…

These guys in category (b) are like these ghosts… for them only women matter… everything else is of no relevance. Other guys, animals or things (cumulatively called ‘objects’) only become relevant to fulfill the ultimate goal of communicating to women.

Let me illustrate this with a diagram:

  • The axis represents bros (Y axis) and girls (Y axis).
  • The number of girls and bros increase as we move horizontally and vertically in the graph.
  • Equilibrium is a 45 degree line with the ratio of girls to bros remain constant.
  • X and Y points are the points where the number of bros and girls associated by category (a) and category (b) are identical – perk point

The best way to explain this is to take an example:

A total Stranger’s House Party

Behaviorial characteristics of category (b) guys

He would enter the party and first thing he does is observe the guy to girl ratio. Since he can see all the girls in that apartment instantly, his ratio is close to only 6 sigma in error (99.999997% accurate). Then, he uses ‘objects’ such as other guys in other to reach his ultimate goal (which can range from communicating to few/all of the girls to sleeping with a few/all of them). This is why, the curve (in brown) jumps up at the initial stage.

The reason why he does not talk to women first is because category (b) guys are constantly with a guilty conscious, they rarely envisage any good when they initiate a conversation with a women. This prevents them from directly confront women at a early stage.

Finally, this guy would reach ‘perk point’ where he would have communicated with sufficient women that he no longer needs ‘objects’. Therefore, the curve becomes linear (constant rate), it does not go down because once this guy has communicated with someone – ‘object’, he can’t really prevent that ‘object’ from talking to you later that same evening (hence, remaining ‘temporary’ bros for the evening). Therefore, normally, one-third of the initial ‘objects would remain at this constant rate while the number of girls he communicates with increases rapidly.

Behaviorial characteristics of category (a) guys

He would enter the party and would feel more relaxed as he has no ulterior motives…. JUST HAVE FUN…. this ‘laid back’ attitude enables him to be more comfortable and ‘smooth’ among the ladies. This is why this curve is inversely proportionate to category (b) curve at the initial stage. Till, one reaches ‘perk point’, after which there is a gradual reduction is the girls:guys ratio as he meets more bros. Given the assumption that he follows the first commandment of Code – the ratio must logically reduce. However, one must note that his curve does not touch the Y axis at any given point. Therefore, even without trying he does maintain a certain number of girl.

A Broken Glass

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You will never know true happiness, until you have truly loved, and you will never understand, what pain really is, until you have lost it.

You walk by me everyday and say hello.Everyday you take time out to listen to me.You talk to me, smile at me, laugh with me, and have fun with me.Well, I talk, smile and laugh too, but inside I’m hurting. Deep down it hurts to be with you because I love you.

While being in love there are two requirements:heart breaking and healing. Healing takes time.
I still run, I still swing open the door,I still think, you’ll be there like before. Doesn’t everybody out there know to never come around? Some things a heart won’t listen to, I’m still holding out for you.

She touched my heart with a thousand pleasures and broke it into million pieces.

To live life without you is to live life without love.
One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do is stop loving someone because they’ve stopped loving you.
Life is prison when you’re in love alone.
The greatest distance on earth is not north and south, it is when I am right in front of you and you do not know that I will always love you.

Code of the Brotherhood (CAP 89, 2008 Rev. Ed.)

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Note: This Code has been amended c.f. below link for the newer version:

https://offbrown.wordpress.com/2008/10/29/amendments-to-the-code-of-the-brotherhood-cap-89-2008-reved/

or Post: Amendments to the Code of the Brotherhood (CAP 89, 2008 Rev.Ed.).

As law students, one of the most important aspects before drafting new legislation is to do your due diligence. You have to be insane or a freaking genius (god-like) to draft legislation from scrap. Only a few have succeeded – Stephen the legendary draftmans of the Evidence Act (which is now used in over 4 jurisdictions), Macaulay who drafted the Indian Penal Code or Macaulay’s Code or the 1837 Indian Code, which numerous countries adopted. Even, these codes which were drafted from scrap couldn’t provide for all present and future possibilities (making life for law students every difficult)

No matter, I shall learn from these great draftsmen and not repeat their mistakes… So, this Act is based on the legendary ‘bro code’ created by the first decedents of Adam (obviously Eve had no role to play in its creation). A short legislative history;

The Bro Code is a living document – manifest in its 83 amendments – and as such is not yet publicly available in an unabridged volume. The original document is hused in a non-disclosed location, two stories beneath sea level in a vacuum-sealed bulletproof chamber.

Years ago, I set forth to compile and articulate the unspoken mores that exist between and among Bros the world over. While not intending to write a “Guide To Being a Bro,” if men should treat it as such and choose to pass this compendium of knowledge from generation to generation, I have little doubt it would bring a tear to my eye… but not out of it – that would be a violation of ARTICLE 77: “A Bro never cries.”

Overall, The Code of the Brotherhood would have;

Five Main sections:

1. Preamble

2. Part I: SacreD Obligations – Article 1-50

3. Part II: Emergency – Artcile 51-55

4 Part III: Boundary Limitations – Article 56- 89

5. Appendix

I have attached a few sections for your viewing pleasure;

  • Artcile 26(1) – “A bro will, in a timely manner, alert his bro to the existence of a girl fight.” A Bro must never hesitate before  communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH “GIRL FIGHT”]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation.
  • Article 26(2) – Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to:
    • telecommunications,
    • elbow nudging,
    • fiber optics,
    • the express delivery services, and
    • postcards.
  • Artcile 26(3) – If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime
  • Draftsman’s intend
    • There is no guys who does like to see a girl fight…. some guys live their whole life with hopes that they may one day have a glimpse of a girl fight. Therefore, alerting your bro about a girl fight is most scared gift any bro can give to another bro.
    • A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro’s viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration.
    • Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged, and in some cases, required. Please refer to the Brobligation rubric as elucidated in AMENDMENT 83: “The REALLY hot sister and other hump trumps.” * SEE ZaBroder film
  • ARTICLE 3: Chick Availability
    • If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
      • Was an ex-girlfriend.
      • Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
      • Is you’re buddy’s sister.
    • However, if it’s your buddy’s cousin, well she’s up for grabs, and you’re welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.
  • Draftsman’s Intend
    • Great Civilizations have fallen & Bestest of Bros have killed each other because Article 3 was ever followed.
    • It must be remembered this is an absolute rule – there are NO exceptions – it is totally exclusionary in nature. A strict liability irrespective of knowledge by the bros or consent.
    • If you see any girl that falls into this category instantly turn away and RUN

I encourage all guys out there to check the full Code which is attached below….. I hope this Code would provide moral authority to your actions and strength the brotherhood.

code-of-the-brotherhood-cap-89-2008-reved1