Tag Archives: Insights into life

Locals Vs ‘Us’

Standard

The most common symptom of a recession is unemployment. The positive correlation of output and unemployment is straightforward for anyone with some basic economics. As output falls, employment fall since firms need less workers to produce goods due to falling demand for domestically produced goods. Currently, Singapore is going through such a patch. Hence, the competition arises between the locals and foreigners for the limited job vacancies. As usual, the locals are crying for help given their motto ‘when in trouble ask the government’. Fortunately, the erudite government knows its economics unlike most governments around the world.

Cutting down on foreigner workers to accommodate locals would just worsen this problem we are facing:

  1. Remember that locals and foreigners DO NOT compete for the same jobs. Over 70% of the foreigners work in the manufacturing & construction sector, which pays on average less than S$600 per month. Jobs which NO local would want to do, which is exactly why the foreigners were brought here in the first place. A country where people have to be reminded to clear their food trays and trash are anything but prepared to be the people who actually end up cleaning it.
  2. Even if some locals were to say that before they had better jobs but now they would settle for even these jobs. These industry jobs require intensive training, a cost which most firms cannot incur now. Further training and recruitment costs are the last thing firms need as they are trying to cutting down their costs.
  3. Simple economics, foreign labor is cheap, freaking cheap actually. The only reason certain firms are still a going concern is because a majority of their cost savings are from employing foreign labor. If we get rid of foreign labor, firms’ costs would increase and the end result more firms would shut down.
  4. For the ignorant few, Singapore government has certain policies that requires firms to employ locals for every XX number of foreigners. Hence, in the above point if firms close down due to the increasing costs, the locals who were hired to meet this statutory requirement would also lose their jobs.
Advertisements

Waitin’ Fears

Standard

So today, I was watching the first and only interview done by Lo Hwei Yen’s husband. As expected, it was definitely an emotional interview, he said certain things about their life, which really took me by surprise. The feeling I got from what he said was that he knew exactly how important she was in his life while they were together. So it got me thinking about an old saying

You don’t know what you have until you lose it

  • But honestly after listening to him, I get the feeling it is not like that. You always know what you have, you just never thought you would lose it……..Sometimes no matter how much you miss someone it’s still wiser not to have that person… back again.
  • Hearts are easily torn but can also be sown together by someone who cares…… Though the scars won’t fade, the stitches will always be there to remind you that someone loves you enough to keep you whole again.
  • Goodbyes make you think…… They make you realize what you’ve had, what you’ve lost and what you’ve taken for granted. They make you realize that sometimes, there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances….. Makes you reflect about the time you skipped dinner with your gf/wife to watch soccer with the guys cos you knew you would always have dinner with her tmrw…..
  • It’s okay to cry as hard and as long as you want to. Just make sure that when you stop crying, you won’t cry for the same reason anymore.
  • It’s not easy letting go of someone you’ve put everything into. But it’s harder to realize later on that you’ve been holding on to something that wasn’t there… anymore.

Moving on my usual emotional issues:

  • How can we love people who don’t seem to make things worth at all? Why do we become so numb caring for people whom at times don’t even think of us in a day or two? Why do we let ourselves hurt and continue hoping for a love that makes us defenseless?
  • And why do we prioritize these people who only choose us as options? Are these the reasons why sometimes in love we end up losing ourselves? Sad but true…
  • Pain is when you can’t breathe even if your chest still rises and falls……Sadness is when you look out the window and think the rain are your tears……. Loneliness is when you still feel a hand touching yours even if there’s none…… Desperation is when you wait for a message that will never come…. Then love is merely when you experience all those things and still open your heart to that someone.
  • Don’t be bitter and full of hatred when the one you love doesn’t love you the way you love her/him or worst yet lose the one you love…… Ask, listen and let go. Don’t force yourself to understand when you can’t, to fight hard when obviously it’s over and to play deaf to the nagging truth that what you’ve had doesn’t work and won’t work anymore. Instead, say: “I have loved you more than you think I would, but I feel sorry that you’ve lost your chance to be loved more than you would ever feel in your life after this…”
  • In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can’t search for what is not there……. Things happen because it is meant to happen. That’s why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don’t love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts……. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions.
  • When something is over, don’t always think that it can start again. When it’s broken, you can’t always put back all the pieces… life is not the way you want it to be, when you know that someone is hurting you so much, just stop! It hurts a lot, but you must learn to let go. Don’t’ push yourself too hard, just remember that in every ending, there’s such a thing that we call… beginning.
  • Sometimes you need to set things free even though it’s hard. Things may not be the same but soon you’ll see that what you did is far better than before.

Big Macs And Break-Ups

Standard

Why guys don’t want to be friends with a girl who breaks up with them…

I know a girl who broke up with a guy and she told him she wanted to “still be friends.”  He said, “No thanks.”  She wondered why he couldn’t fall back to being just friends after they had a romantic relationship.  I came up with the “McDonalds Analogy” to try and explain it in a simple way that would help all women understand this tough question.

Imagine if you went to McDonalds a lot and ordered a Big Mac Combo meal.  A Big Mac, Large Fries and a Coke.  You really like this meal.  One day, you pull up to the drivethrough and order the Big Mac Combo meal and the girl tells you, “I’m sorry – you can have the Big Mac and the Coke, but you can’t get fries with that anymore.”  You think about this for a moment, and sure – the Big Mac is the centerpiece of the meal, but McDonalds has some really good fries and you like their fries with your meal.  So you say, “I’ve been able to get fries with that before, why can’t I have fries with my Big Mac combo anymore?”  The girls says, “Well, I just think it is better if you only have the Big Mac and the Coke from here on out.”

At this point, a lot of guys are going to go to KFC or BK and see if they can get fries with their combo at that drivethrough window.  But there are some guys who REALLY like McDonalds Big Macs and they might think, “If I keep coming here and ordering the Big Mac and Coke, maybe she’ll change her mind and give me some fries with that later.”  So they will keep on getting the combo without the fries until the deal breaker happens: One day that guy is going to order the Big Mac and Coke and then he’s going to pull up a little bit to pay, and someone else is going to pull up to the drivethrough speaker and order the “Big Mac Combo” and he is going to hear the girl say, “Would you like fries with that?”

That’s why guys don’t like to be friends with a girl who breaks up with them. So girls next time please try to understand……

Please ‘grow up’

Standard

Ok…. this is something that has annoyed me for some time so I am gonna take a few minutes off my mugging to blog about….

Teenagers….. wtf is wrong with this new generation of teenagers….. Specifically, when it comes to relationships and expressing their feelings. I see so many ‘in a relationship with XXXX’ or ‘its complicated’…. Actually, that I can’t handle it anymore… What annoys me is the ‘I love u Po’, ‘I miss U, <<kiss>>’ and ‘is lovin U for ever and ever’….. serious ??? I can understand this from couples who has been going out for a year or something but the third date or 2 week anniversary isn’t the most appropriate time to change your status to this. Normally this is how it goes

Stage 1: Change of status to something like ‘had fun’, ‘brilliant day’ etc… a message that hints to the other person that the time spent together on that particular day was special

Stage 2: ‘Love’ status updates frequency of change 20 hours or less…. refer above for examples

Stage 3: Photos of the couple on fb…..

Stage 4: Couple pic on fb profile pic and random friends commenting on how good both of them look together….. Yes… 16 year old nubbies…. looking good together in a photo is the secret of a looooong lasting relationship…. zzzzzz….

Stage 5: Rubber Stamp – it all goes down this way…… first…. someone feels bad…. moody status updates, followed by relationship status changed to complicated and finally ‘single’

Stage 6: clean up – all the pics of the couple on FB goes out and then go to another ‘love relationship’……..

Seriously, if you re a teenager…. dn’t waste your time on stupid useless shit like this…. Play a sport, study hard and experience new adventures (dating random women or sleeping around is NOT adventure). Being in a relationship is NOT part of what its like to be a teenager. Teenagers are meant to be carefree, irresponsible and out to conquer the world… You dn’t need a relationship to pull you down. Honestly, relationships prevent you from fully living the life of a teenager.

Remember women and all the heavy luggage that comes with them need only complicate your life when your older and mature. Word of Advice – PATIENCE, wait for the right time and the right person which is usually in your mid/late 20s….. Love is worth the loooooong restless wait – TRUST ME 🙂

Real Sacrifice

Standard

The greatest sacrifices are the ones you never expect anything in return

The trouble I have seen with parents is their inherent weakness of expecting something back in return for all the time and effort they have put in raising their children. How often do you come across parents who give everything they have and expect nothing in return from their children. Its the obvious connection they have with their children – love – blinds us all.

Their expectations are concealed under the cloak of ‘best interests’ for their child. A card used by most parents in order to achieve their own expectations or dreams via their children. This may be harsh…. But in reality, children are merely an investment made by parents in order to achieve some return in the future. Majority of the parents would not even see that their expectations are really killing their child’s dreams and hopes because these parents are blinded by parental love (rationalizing their expectations as ‘best interests for their child’).

Why don’t children stand up and say ‘No’? It is merely social norms at work. Children are constantly made to feel guilty of their parents’ sacrifices. Hence, ‘I Owe Them’ is always at the back of their head…. preventing most of them from going against their parents’ expectations. Parents celebrate when their children excel…. they are first to tell their neighbors… when their child fails….. I rarely hear Parents telling their neighbors how their drug addict son is doing time in prison or their O/L failed daughter is working as a prostitute. One may say its because it makes their children look bad…. yeah but that is taking a parent’s view point on what is good and what is bad…. what if their son enjoys doing drugs and their daughter wanted to be a prostitute. Why can’t parents be happy with what their children have become…. Just because mom gave up her dream on being an air stewardess to raise her 2 children and dad couldn’t get his lamborghini  since he had to save for their children’s college education does mean their daughter must be air stewardess and their son a lawyer….

Emotional Detachment

Standard

Really end of the day we have to choose between truth and happiness. There is no inbetween…. if your fortunate both of them would be same but that rarely happens. What tilts us towards happiness and blinds us from the most obvious….. Its emotional attachment… Only through emotional detachment can we really understand the world better…. Of course, I don’t want anyone to confuse emotional detachment with being willfully cold and unpleasant to people…. This has been a common misconception among people so this post is gonna try to explain.

Emotional detachment, in psychology, can mean two different things. In the first meaning, it refers to an inability to connect with others emotionally, as well as a means of dealing with anxiety by preventing certain situations that trigger it. In the second sense, it is a type of mental assertiveness that allows people to maintain their boundaries and psychic integrity when faced with the emotional demands of another person or group of persons.

What I am talking about is the second type:

This type can be described  as a positive and deliberate mental attitude which avoids engaging the emotions of others. It is often applied to relatives and associates of people who are in some way emotionally overly demanding. A simple example might be a person who trains himself to ignore the “pleading” food requests of a dieting spouse. It is not to be confused with being wilfully cold or unpleasant, because it is a positive mental attitude. Therefore, these individuals do not have unemotional personality as most assume and are not really totally closed off to emotions. Rather, they have trained their minds to be able to switch on and off their emotions as and when needed i.e. one is in control of his/her emotions and not vice versa.

This detachment does not mean avoiding the feeling of empathy; it is actually more of an awareness of empathetic feelings that allows the person space needed to rationally choose whether or not to manipulate or be overwhelmed by such feelings.

Ok fine…… You may ask ‘How do I really achieve this?’. I have three simple principles that I adopt from the teachings of Buddhism, which has really worked for me:

Recognition: A basic principle is that you cannot experience freedom and spaciousness unless you recognize what is happening. The more you learn to recognize the range of your emotions, including the most subtle, the more you will become familiar and comfortable with them, and the less you will be in their thrall.

Something I do is naming these emotions….. A steady and relaxed labeling of the emotion of the moment, e.g., “joy,” “anger,” “frustration,” “happiness”, “boredom,” “contentment”, “desire,” and the like, encourages us to stay present with what is central in our experience. Naming can also help us become calm and less entangled with the emotion, less identified with it or reactive to its presence.

Acceptance: This does not mean condoning or justifying certain feelings. It means simply allowing emotions to be present, whatever they may be. Many people frequently judge and censure their feelings. One must practice unconditional acceptance of our emotions. This does not mean expressing emotion, but letting emotions move through you without any inhibitions, resistance, or encouragement.

Investigation: This entails dropping any fixed ideas we have about an emotion and looking at it afresh. Emotions are composite events, made up of bodily sensations, thoughts, feelings, motivations, and attitudes. Investigation is not analysis, but more a sensory awareness exercise of feeling our way into the present moment experience of the emotions. It is particularly useful to investigate the bodily sensations of an emotion, letting the body be the container for the emotion,. In a sense, the body is a bigger container than the thinking mind which is easily exhausted, and which tends to spin off into stories, analysis, and attempts to fix the situation – away from acceptance of the present moment experience.

Trust me…. emotional detachment provides one with a perspective of life that a majority of humans could never comprehend.

Housism

Standard

Sometimes, House MD reminds me of myself…. His character on the TV show merely emulates my personality and character in real life. The best part about him is his philosophy or insights into life… Or as I call it Housism.

My favorite 15 are listed below:

Life

  1. “Lies are like children: they’re hard work, but it’s worth it because the future depends on them.”
  2. “Arrogance has to be earned. Tell me what you’ve done to earn yours.
  3. “Life sucks. Your life sucks more than most. It’s not as bad as some, which is depressing all by itself.”
  4. “Very noble gesture. My favorite kind – dramatic, yet completely empty.”
  5. “Gifts allow us to demonstrate exactly how little we know about a person. And nothing pisses a person off more than being shoved into the wrong pigeonhole.”
  6. “…Everything is conditional. You just can’t always anticipate the conditions.”
  7. “I thought I’d get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual.”
  8. “The only value of that trust is that you can manipulate them.”
  9. “You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don’t be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways.”

Sex

  1. “One caveat: I’ve moved past threesomes. I’m now into foursomes. If someone backs out, then you’ve still got a threesome. If two people back out, you’re still having sex.”
  2. “Okay, fine. I’ll father your child. But first you gotta write me a Vicodin prescription. Just so I can get through the foreplay.”

People

  1. “Problem is, if I can’t trust you, I can’t trust your statement that I can trust you. But thanks anyway, you’ve been a big help.
  2. “There’s an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there’s an evolutionary imperative why we don’t give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn’t function.”
  3. “It’s a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what. The weird thing about telling someone they’re dying is it tends to focus their priorities. You find out what matters to them. What they’re willing to die for. What they’re willing to lie for.”
  4. “Rational arguments don’t usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be religious people.”